Thinking you should be farther along than you are?

in Mind & Emotion, June 25, 2020

This might seem useful, but it’s actually a lie.

How do we know?

You aren’t further along.

If you were supposed to be, you would be.

It’s an un-useful judgment that creates feelings of frustration, guilt, shame, and other emotions that keep you stuck.

Thinking you should be further along when you aren’t is like thinking:

~A seed should be a flower before it is.
~The patio remodel complete when it’s not.
~A new employee making more money before they are.

It’s only arguing with reality, and as Byron Katie says, “When we argue with reality we never win.”

The truth is we should have the result when we become the person who has it.

We don’t become the person who has the result by doing more, and we become the person who has it by evolving into who that person is.

It happens with emotions like curiosity, grace, ease, courage.

How?

Get out a pen and paper. Imagine you are watching her going about her day and write the answers to these questions.

Now start practicing these thoughts and feelings.

Start believing what she believes, and then you’ll be further along.

It works.

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